state sponsored nannies

There is a great system in finland: a family in need may get a state sponsored nanny.
We are such a family. With four children under 3 years old, we are eligible for help couple of times a week, few hours at a time.
These nannies are like god-send. With vast experience they have, i or my hubby need not to worry how babies (or nannies) are doing and we can get a little rest.
During the 90's this service anyhow for some reason was seen as something that can be taken down. I guess it was partly due to the idea of offering more counseling (which though never happened due to budgets) for parents in need.
A great mistake. Jealous, i listen the nannies talking about the past, when they could spend a whole day with a family, not just few hurried hours. Now, this point has been given a voice in finnish media. There has been two very recent cases of a mother killing her small children here in finland. No need to say how horrifying these news are. Why aren't these families getting the help they need? And what kind of help should it be?
Bring on the nannies, i say. Talking won't always help, but a pair of hands may give for a person deep in the mud a chance to climb up.

twins vs triplets

I belong to a facebook group dedicated for parents of tiplets.
It is necessary. If you only had one baby, i have no patience for your hardships. Twins? I might go through with it, but only another triplet mom will truly get me.
Two babies are easy to manage. You can put one in a sitter, and feed another one. You can even breastfeed two. It is easy to divide your attention between two babies, but try babbling with three babies. You always notice that one has gotten nearly no attention.
I am constantly afraid that my babies will end up socially handicap, since i just can't give them the attention they each individually would deserve.
That is why this morning i was especially happy. Each one of my babies saluted me with a smile, for a first time. I

husbands

It is a well-known fact that innorder for a woman to succeed in her career, she better invest in a supportive husband, or stay single.
I'd say the same rings true for a woman who wills, or must, stay at home with kids.
In order for your time at home to be precious, you need a companion who supports you - both emotionally and financially. He needs to be someone who values your work at home , praises your cooking, admires you as a mother and lets you to be the manager of the homelife - and yet sees you as a woman and supports your personal growth.
Only then you will become a housewife, not a bitter woman who stays at home.

materialism

Having a baby revolves a lot around shopping. Yes, i am partly to blame as i love shopping, but hey, the baby needs all his clothes new every few weeks!
Some people prefer not to spend on babygear as it is used for such a little while.
I say, shop if you can!
Every little thing, no matter if you use it for two weeks, is worthwhile if it makes those two weeks more bearable.
With my first born i got obsessed with the climate change, and carried quilt about my purchases. Then i realized, i won't destroy the world even if i bought all the babygear in it.
It is much bigger guys who work up in the corporate ladder, the investors, who should lead the change.

putting baby on a schedule - gina ford

I am at the point of mommyhood, where i am becoming obsessed about putting the babies into a schedule. I remember it happened exactly at the same time with the toddler: two months mark.
Step in the guru of the baby schedules: gina ford, the author of such books that promise to make you and the baby contented.
Ford tells you exactly what to do and at what hour - or quarter of an hour. She only does not tell you when to feed your baby, but also when you, the mom, should be having your toast and cereal. Some love her, some think her as a load of bullshit.
For me schedules bring a feeling of safety. I do find it funny that i felt the need for schedule with one baby. One baby is easy to take along, i say now. But now with three babies and one toddler, we need one - fast - or i go nuts.
I am not gonna follow ms ford. She is a bit too throughout. But her existence gives me hope that a schedule is possible - not that the baby necessarily needs it, but my sanity does.

inactive babies

It is somewhat pure sadism that babies are born with so undeveloped digestive system. It breaks the heart and a good-night sleep of the parent to watch a squirming, red-faced little person who is clearly in pain.
Burp the baby properly, you may say.
Well, yeah! How do you burp and feed three babies all at the same time?
I am thinking if this phase of tummy problems is a global phenomenon? In cultures where a baby is carried and thus goes with the daily activities of mummy, do babies have these problems? I would think that being in upright position and gently feeling the movements and the smell of the mom might be a preventive action?
Inactivity of a human being seems to start in the western world already as a baby, i think now. Babies are expected to lay down a lot, and be happy. Well, you try laying down all day long, and feel the gas developing...

Please, read my blog about baby products and all things scandinavian at www.whatabrand.blogspot.com.

about nannies

As we have four kids under 3 years old, some professional help around the house is requisite. Thank god the state sponsors us with some help: we have a nanny around the house for few hours couple of times a week.
Various nannies have passed by, and i've got a hint for everyone thinking of getting a nanny.
Do make sure that she is at least 10 years older than you are!
No, i am not saying this because you should be afraid that your husband might get some fantasies about the young and fresh girl running around your home. Neither i am saying this because you might compare your post-preg body to one that has not had the joy of carrying a baby.
I am saying it because i just spent few hours with a nanny eight years my junior.
It was exhusting! A big sis feeling took over me, and i had to babble with her as she'd be my friend.
Now, a nanny is supposed to be a person you need not talk to too much, at least if she is there  because you are exhausted. This dilemma is solved when the nanny is clearly someone out of your generation.

maternal love

As i woke up at 3 am last night, which by the way i do every night, and ventured in to the living room, i took a baby from my hubby's arms. I and the baby went in to the triplets room, and laid down on the bed.
I always try to take one baby to sleep next to me. Poor a is such a good sleeper that he rarely gets the privilege, but b and c are regulars and most of the time fall asleep quite quickly even though if they have given trouble earlier on.
I watched the baby fall asleep. I noticed how big he has gotten, his palms looked like little boys palms, not newborn's. His breathing steadied and a peaceful expression fell on his face. I was full of love towards him, and thought that these moments make waking up at the middle of the night at least somewhat worthwhile.
I say somewhat as i will be more than happy once the boys start sleeping through the night.
I also realised, and was amazed, that maternal love really is such a thing that it is possible to love all one's children equally. It so happened that i did not know which baby i so admired, b or c. But that did not matter, it was my baby and i loved him all the same.

sharing babycare, part 1

What is true and what is not?  That is up to you to decide.
Me and the Hubby, we were okay for two days, exact. Then, at four in the morning "well maybe we get this thing together" -period ended.
"I am with the babies most of the days all day long," he said.
Yes you are, yes i am, i wanted to scream. We've got three of them, plus the toddler.
But it happened what usually happens. I do not do enough, he does too much. Then i got confused, since to my last recall, i do all the time, too.
A little note here, then. What a woman does around the house and the kids, that is of course. What a man does is because it is his will. If he somehow suddenly decides that he won't, the woman should just accept it and maybe give a smile.
What a big load of bullshit!